A disastrous 8-year experiment in extreme right-wing government control in America is finally coming to a conclusion as the newly anointed President Obama takes over from a beleaguered Bush.
Even more importantly, though, is the fact that the a chance has finally arrived for millions of hard-working, God-fearing Americans to take back what is rightfully theirs to take.
I am talking of course about the word “Bush.”
Many of you may remember a more innocent time in the not-so-distant past when that word Bush signified something deeper, more profound, more beautiful - might I even say inspiring - than it has come to mean in the past decade.
Such words as Shaved Bush Now “Free Bush,”"Easy Bush,” “Juicy Bush,” “Tight Bush,” and even “Bush Ranger” have a way of flowing off the tongue.
Even hardcore Republican conservatives would have to admit this is so much better than the decade of dreariness that W has brought us, terms such as “Bush’s War in Iraq” and “Bush’s Scandal” and “Bush’s Failure in New Orleans” and “Bush’s Torture Program” and Bush’s Economic Meltdown” and on and on and on…
Whatever it was, everybody knows that something has profoundly changed over the course of the Bush presidency in America, and now that W has exited stage left, what better time to re-capture the glory and splendor of what used to be.
And so, without further ado, we are honored to bring you the following list of ways you can use to get your Bush back.”
Number 10: Go around telling random people that you meet on the street that you prefer “old school” Bush.
Number 9: Next time you’re in bed, send your partner between the sheets to see if she can locate your weapon of mass destruction.
Number 8: As the economy falters, keep in mind that tough times means cheap Bush. It’s a basic economic law of supply and demand.
Number 7: Glory in the fact that Michelle Obama is most definitely a MILF.
Number 6: Sex, Drugs and Rock-n-Roll… Long live the Democrats… The party that gives you the new, new Bush deal.
Number 5: Never misunderestimate a Bush.
Number 4: This summer, shave a Bush for the environment. It’ll help cut down on air-conditioning.
Number 3: This winter, grow a new Bush. It’ll save on the heating bill.
Number 2: Try to use the word Bush in every sentence. For example, “I’ll take a burger, fries, and a super-sized coke and boy I bet you have one smokin’ hot Bush under that uniform.”
And the # 1 way to get your Bush back.
These simple words: Give Me Hairy Bush Now or Give Me Death!
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